Finding out he doesn't love you.... and that he doesn't even care about you....and that hes already forgotten you.... WORST feeling in the world.

(I love this man and thought he was the one, but the feeling was not reciprocated)

=(

I'll be by your side

So, I can't fall asleep.  I am sad that another boy has hurt me.  We've gone on dates, and he is really cute.  But he has not made me feel special.  No " you look pretty tonight" or little signs that he cares.  This is the second time I have called him and he has not answered, but texts later that he was with his friends.  So I told him that I want to feel special and he is either clueless or a jerk.  No response and again I am alone.  Now I am listening to this song repeatedly to help me go to sleep.  I recommend you download "by your side" by tenth avenue north.  It is a really good song.  Why am I looking for love? Is God not enough??  I feel like I hurt God by not acknowledging that He loves me.  Thank you God for loving me!   I do not have to be sad because I am alone.  I am not alone! =)

lyrics:
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

YoU R BeLoVeD!!! =)

  Watch this video!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKyY8zfjBMQ&ob=av2n

^^Watch this video!^^  It is awesome.  Even when someone lets you down, you can say:

 "I belong to You"!

"I'm the one You love. That will be enough."

<3 Remember you are loved by God.  You are His beloved.  God is always there for you!

=)

Happy New Year!

Shout out to all the single girls out there! 2012 is our year!  =)  It's so nice to know that even though men may come and go, your girlfriends will always be there for you.  I realized that tonight.  Even though I am sad that I could not kiss the man I loved at midnight, I was so happy to hug my best friend!  I am so thankful for my best friend.  She is the best and is always there for me.  So hang in there single gals!  2012 is another year of opportunity.  Even if we don't meet our true love in 2012, we need to remember to leave it in God's hands.  He will provide us when the time is right according to His will.  I trust him.  Happy 2012!!

Good Advice

So what to do after you're done crying?  I decided to stain my bathroom doors.  But that's besides the point, lol.  What I was listening to while staining was audiobook "Seven Things that Steal Your Joy" by Joyce Meyer.  I recommend!  Listen to minute 14.... "Maybe there is something you want, and are trying hard to get. " <for me a man who loves me> "Yet nothing you try is working, and it is frustrating you.  In that case all you can do is back off and wait on God. While you are waiting for God to take care of the situation, I encourage you to enjoy the wait. That may be hard because it take patience." 

Hah!  Enjoy the wait? LOL.  I want to meet my future husband and I want him now!!  (I thought my 2nd love would be the one, but I was wrong.)  But Joyce is right.  I do need to be PATIENT and leave it in God's hands.  She must have been reading my mind!  It was so creepy when she said this:

"Suppose you feel you can't wait to get married.   So you decide to find the perfect mate for yourself instead of waiting on God to work it out for you.   It would be a terrible mistake to become so desperate that you settle for someone who is not right for you.  It  would be much better to wait until God brings you a divine connection."

Awesome advice!  I will wait.  Someone out there God has planned for me.  I may not want to, but I will wait.

Why Blog?

I just broke up with my boyfriend.  Probably why many people start blogging, right? lol.  Well, this was the second love of my life.  They say first loves never work out, but I was hoping that this one would have.  =(    I am a 27 year old woman who is ready to settle down.  I look at my sister (she's the PRETTY sister of course) who is happily married with 3 kids, and I want that. 

I never had a relationship in life, but it was okay because I was busy with school and work.  However, after I got my doctorate and a stable job, I was ready to date!  My longest relationship prior was 2 weeks, so I was soo happy when I found my <3 first love <3 on eharmony.  We dated for 6 months, and I was so happy!  Then, I asked if he loved me.  He said that he only said the love word to his mom and grandmother.  Then he dumped me with no reason, saying "we're just not the perfect match".  My mom said it was probably because his high class family did not approve of me (I wasn't pretty and have blond hair/blue eyes like them.)  Ahh, see how hard it is to be an UGLY GIRL? 

Anyways, this 2nd love of my life I met on match.com and I really thought I could be loved.  I enjoyed his company so much!  Then yesterday I get a text "I don't want any serious relationship until I find out where I'm going to be next year.  You can continue to date me and figure it out later, or you're free to move on." What!?  I gave him a break when he was studying for boards, but if I continue like this then my heart will just be more hurt later.

How does that saying go?  "He's just not that into you"?  Well, i believe it.  However, they should extend it to say..."He's just not that into you because YOU'RE AN UGLY GIRL".  I'm sure if I was prettier that man would tell me his future plans would work out as long as he was with me.  <sigh>  So that's my story.  Why I am blogging to see the gradual process of finding my future husband.  All I am looking for is a good Christian man that will love me.  Is that so hard? ........

Are you an ugly girl too?

Have you searched for "diary of an ugly girl" on google?  I have.  I was hoping to find a book I could read about an ugly girl who has a hard time finding love or a self-help book on how to deal with being an ugly girl.  Guess what I found?  Nothing good.  One link I thought was good at first..(it was about an ugly girl who found love with a paraplegic)..but it turned out to be a porno story.  So I don't recommend you read that! lol  Instead, ReAd My BlOg! =)  I am an ugly girl who is looking for love and have not found it.  There will be trials and tribulations in my quest to find a handsome man who will love me, and I would like to share it.  It would be nice to get feedback from other ugly girls too! So read, enjoy, and have hope because you are not alone!!!!